That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
