Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
