So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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