Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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