i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
