at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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