i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Welp...herpes.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
