At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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