It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
