I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
