Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
