Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
