Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
