I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
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