How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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