nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Only a mothe r could love this liver
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
