you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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