I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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