omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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