How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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