i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
