He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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