I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
they need to just BURY HIM!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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