She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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