Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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