when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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