I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
