Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
