i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My life is pants optional.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
