he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
wow bdsm is so cute
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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