Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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