i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
