it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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