Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
