Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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