the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
