I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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