I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
it's like heaven, but drunker
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
