pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
