So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
