i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
