doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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