I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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