Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
