he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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