I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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