Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
