I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If I die, sorry about rent.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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