What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have tasted many bathrooms
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
