I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
