that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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