these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
