If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
