I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
