i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There's always time for handjobs
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Someone signed my nipple.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
