Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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