You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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