Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I've blown a few things in my day
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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